Lilykat's Journal
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October 27, 2009
H1N1 Clinics in Los Angeles County
If You cannot see the text, please visit the website on my facebook account.
If you are getting the H1N1 Flu Shot this season, the Department of Health is offering FREE H1N1 Clinics on the following dates and times, starting with PRIORITY Groups. The Priority Groups are:
1. Pregnant Women
2. Live with or care for children younger than 6 months old
3. Work in health care or emergency medical services
4. Are between the ages of 6 months and 24 years
5. Have CHRONIC health problems or a COMPROMISED Immune System
DATE ------------- Hours ------------- Location
10/28/2009 1 pm -9 pm Performing Arts Ctr.
12700 Center Court Dr. S., Cerritos
10/28/2009 12 pm -8 pm El Camino College Compton
1111 E. Artesia Blvd Compton
10/28/2009 12 pm -8 pm Pomona Fairplex
1101 E. Mckinley Ave. Pomona
10/29/2009 11 am -7 pm Memorial Park Rec Ctr.
340 N. Orange Pl. Azusa
10/29/2009 1 pm -9 pm Salazar Park
3864 Whittier Blvd. Los Angeles
10/29/2009 9 am -5 pm WLCAC
10950 S. Central Ave. Los Angeles
10/30/2009 9 am -5:30 pm Hollywood Park
1050 S. Prairie Ave. Inglewood
10/30/2009 9 am -5 pm WLCAC
10950 S. Central Ave, Los Angeles
10/30/2009 9 am -4 pm Live Oak Park Cmty Center
10144 Bogue St., Temple City
10/31/2009 9 am - 5:30 pm Hollywood Park
1050 S. Prairie Ave. Inglewood
11/01/2009 9 am -4 pm Monrovia Cmty Center
119 W. Palm Ave., Monrovia
11/01/2009 12 pm -5 pm George Lane Park
5520 West Avenue L-8, Quartz Hill
11/03/2009 9:30 am -3:30 pm Glendale Civic Auditorium
1401 N. Verdugo Rd. Glendale
11/03/2009 9 am -5 pm Cal State Los Angeles GYM
5151 State University Dr. Los Angeles
11/03/2009 9 am -3 pm USC-Lyons Center
1026 W. 34th St. Los Angeles
11/03/2009 9 am -5 pm Pomona Fairplex
1101 W. Mckinley Ave, Pomona
11/04/2009 11 am -7 pm Human Resources Dept.
21815 Pioneer Blvd., Hawaiian Gardens
11/04/2009 9 am -3 pm USC-Lyons Center
1026 W. 34th St., Los Angeles
11/04/2009 9 am -5 pm Santa Monica College
1900 Pico Blvd, Santa Monica
11/05/2009 1 pm -9 pm Salt Lake Park
3401 E. Florence Ave, Huntington Park
11/05/2009 9 am -5 pm YMCA
9900 S. Vermont Ave. Los Angeles
11/05/2009 10 am -6 pm Barnes Park Gym
350 S. McPherrin Ave, Monterrey Park
11/05/2009 8 am -4 pm Cal Poly Pomona
3659 Temple Ave, Pomona
11/06/2009 9 am -5 pm YMCA
9900 S. Vermont Ave, Los Angeles
11/06/2009 10 am -6 pm Barnes Park Gym
350 S. McPherrin Ave, Monterrey Park
11/07/2009 9 am -5 pm Community Gym
15105 Alicante Rd, La Mirada
11/07/2009 8 am -4 pm Christ the King
624 N. Rossmore Ave, Los Angeles
11/07/2009 9 am -5 pm El Sereno Rec Center
4721 Klamath St, Los Angeles
11/07/2009 9 am -5 pm Jesse Owens Park
9651 S. Western Ave. Los Angeles
11/07/2009 9 am -2 pm The Village at Indian Hill
1460 E. Holt Blvd, Pomona
11/08/2009 9 am -5 pm Jesse Owens Park
9651 S. Western Ave, Los Angeles
11/08/2009 9 am -5 pm El Sereno Rec Center
4721 Klamath St. Los Angeles
11/08/2009 8 am -4 pm Christ the King
624 N. Rossmore Ave, Los Angeles
Priority Groups are FIRST. Everyone else will be able to receive the H1N1 shot later in the flu season. -
June 15, 2009
June: Summer of Changing Strength
My birthday is this month. Not exactly looking forward to it. I'm anxious as it is and now I'm anxiously awaiting Rituxan infusion in July. My kidneys are not at their best right now. I'd rather be on Cellcept because I was on it for years and it helped tremendously. My body responds to it. But we're at the point right now where I need chemo and Cytoxan is only a last resort. So Rituxan here I come! I think it'll be good. I think my body will respond to it and my kidney function will improve and I'll be able to wear pretty shoes again! My feet are like swollen balls of flesh. They hurt. The shoes of the moment are slippers. boo! You can't dress up and wear slippers. You just can't.
Since I'll be starting Rituxan I tabled the whole kids issue. It's a dream that must be paused. I'm okay with that now. It took me a year to get to this point but now I see that I have to be physically healthy before I think about getting pregnant. If I did get pregnant I'd be overjoyed! But I'd rather be overjoyed and healthier and ready physically and mentally to bring a life into the world. So it was hard to tell myself, you can't have this now. You're not ready. but one day I will be. I feel so old but everyone keeps telling me how young I actually am. I'll be 28 on the 28th. :)
I started seeing a social worker just to talk. He's like a therapist. And he helps me put our talking into action so that I can improve my life. It's been so helpful. Talking with him and my BF's mom, who's getting her Master's in Psychology in two weeks! way to go!, has helped me in so many ways. I feel the changes in my way of thinking now. I did something dumb years ago that got blamed on someone else. I've carried that guilt and remorse for years. I finally came clean. and you know what? The two people I apologized to just laughed. They wondered why I felt so bad about it. Now I have to apologize to the person who got blamed, although she never knew that she was blamed. I think I would feel better knowing she knows the truth. anyway, when I told my mom and brother I felt a weight lift off of me. I'm still me after all. They still love me.
and my neighbor had a yard sale two weeks ago. She was selling an exercise bike. Years ago my Rheumie, Dr. Leibling, now retired, advised me to get a bike with a big roomy seat that I could sit in and be comfy. All I ever saw were the super high ones that wedge into your butt. I have bad hips so I said no thanks. I thought I'd always be a treadmill and pool girl, but lo and behold my next door neighbor pulls this magnificent contraption out and it is exactly what I had looked for years earlier. It's so great going out to the garage (our new family gym) and turning up the radio and just biking away- in place. lol. It's helped me physically and mentally . I know I'm doing good for my body. Of course there are days when I can't walk very far so biking is out of the question. But on the better days it's the best. In six months I hope to still be biking and even lose some weight.
Things will not remain as they have for all these years. I feel myself changing. I hope, for the better. I feel my strength improving in every sense. I'll stay out of the sun but will grow and bloom like a plant. I hope you all have a great summer. and I hope you find your own strengths.
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April 24, 2009
April Freedom
It has been a long hot week in Los Angeles, CA. Today, Friday, the temperature has dropped significantly and all is much cooler, even my mood. One week ago Friday, I was admitted to the hospital for severe abdominal pain. You know the pain scale they have at the doctor's office where 1=No Pain and 10=the Worst Pain imaginable? I was at a full on 10. It came on so suddenly! I was walking on my treadmill and went to bathe after and the second I stepped into the tub, BAM! Pain city. I took a quick shower and rushed out of there all while hollering for help. My boyfriend had stepped out and my mom was home. She freaked out of course and I freaked out. She wanted to get me to the hospital ASAP but I wanted to wait and see if the pain disappeared. I know, I know that's not the smartest idea. Well the pain did NOT go away. I slipped on some loose pjs and they drove me to the ER. I had to wait 6 hours before I was able to be seen by a doctor and allowed effective pain medicine. I felt so weak and hurt. The whole time I was wishing I had good medical insurance. I had quite a few doses of Morphine and the pain finally eased. Morphine is great when you are in pain. It doesn't take it all away, but it relaxes you so that you can talk through the pain instead of just crying and screaming.
After many tests including blood, Cat scan and an ultrasound the doctors determined that I either had a twisted ovary (a freak sudden occurence with no cause) or a cyst on my ovary that burst. They watched me in observation overnight to determine which one it was and they had to hold the pain meds in order to do it! Ugh! I hated them for it even though I understood the reasoning behind it. If it had been a twisted ovary I was going to have to have emergency surgery to un-twist it because it can cause infertility! Luckily it wasn't that. I had a cyst on my ovary that burst and since I take Coumadin (Warfarin Sodium) for blood clots, I bled internally more than your average Jane. The Gyn said it would dissolve on its own which it did. If all this happened in just 24 hours then why did it take a week to gain my freedom from the hospital, you ask? Well, Lupus is a disease of complications. As I mentioned I take Coumadin. My INR was out of range and therefore had to be normalized on a Heparin Drip which is done via IV. PLUS! I developed a fever of 102 degrees and severe nausea and vomitting. I had a small infection on my backside (so uncomfortable) that quickly spiraled into a BIG infection. A few years ago I contracted the MRSA infection and according to the docs once you have it once, it stands to reason that in the future any infection that you get will be MRSA. I had to get IV antibiotics and they called in the surgeons to cut out and drain the infected site. As grateful as I am for all their help in making me better I still felt like a prisoner. I cried almost everyday. I already suffer from panic attacks and being there brings them on so quickly! While I'm in the ER waiting room I start to feel restless. Once I'm in seeing a doctor it takes about 2-3 hours when it hits me: I'm sick yet again and I'm in the hospital and this time I could die. I start having trouble breathing and I can't stop crying. It's traumatic. While all this is happening to me I can hear what others around me are going through and I have even seen a few of them die. Hospital trips are just no fun. But the result, making people better is worth it.
Anyway...yesterday the doctor told me he did not see me going home that day. At first I said that was fine. He gave me permission to shower and while I tried to shower in the hospital's very hot water shower I freaked. No way could I stand being there just one more day. My infection was practically healed. I begged him to let me go with PO antibiotics. I got one last dose of Vancomycin IV antibiotics and he said, okay, you can go. I almost danced. I was so happy! I changed out of that sad blue hospital gown into my purple pants and windbreaker and I was ready to go! lol. I still had to wait another 3 hours while the pharmacy prepared my medicines but as I stepped outside the building and got into our car, I cried out FREEDOM!!! I just kept saying it over and over. I know the doctors and the hospital is there to make us healthy, or rather to keep us as healthy as possible while we live with this chronic illness but I felt so trapped there. I went in for one thing and had to stay because of other things. Thank God. I feel much better now just "jet-lagged" in a way. Does anyone know what I mean? It'll take a day or two to get back in the rythym of my "normal" life but for now I'm so grateful to be home. FREEDOM!!!
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February 08, 2009
February Flare
So about three days ago I went to the Lake Shrine in Pacific Palisades with my good friend Martina. The sky was gray and cloudy. There was a nice wind blowing and it was raining. My kind of weather. I knew a flare of my discoid Lupus was coming. But I wanted a day where I could be some place beautiful and just just be one with nature. It was great. The next day, I woke up and my mouth was bleeding. This is how my flare-ups go.
I have a dentist appt coming up on Thursday, but with my mouth like this I just don't see how I can go. Especially since I need a root canal. I'm so stressed by the flare and that just works to feed the flare. Once my discoid flare comes my systemic lupus is not far behind in flaring up. I hate this disease. I hate being sick. I hate that I'm a burden because I know I am. I hate feeling so ugly when I never felt beautiful. I hate crying all the time. I hate myself. It hurts. It feels like I have a hot iron stuck to my mouth. I can't even cry without a gush of blood seeping into my mouth. I can't laugh. I can't talk. I can barely eat. I'm so hungry.
Is there anyone out there who has gone through this? How do you cope? A nurse friend of mine told me to get some ensure. I will, but what I really want to eat is a big plate of pupusas. I need something stronger for the pain. I wish they sold Morphine candy at the Walgreens. I know I could go to the ER for some pain meds, but I'm trying to tough it out. My life is pain. You understand. I don't feel as strong as everyone thinks I am. I feel small and weak and sick and insignificant. I feel like someone to be pitied and then put in the back of your mind. I scare kids. I hate scaring kids. My housemate has an 8 month old and when he sees me usually he laughs and laughs. Yesterday he just looked at me with somber eyes and sighed. Does he understand that I am not well? I wonder what babies are thinking. At least he didn't cry. But he didn't laugh either.
I wish I could crawl into bed and sleep until this flare was gone. Why don't they make a medicine for this? I understand that curing Lupus is probably a lifetime endeavor, but don't they make a special cream or something to soothe skin like mine?
I just needed to talk. If anyone read this, thank you. I hope that you are having a better February than I am.