jade's Journal
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June 07, 2009
my day!
I feel okey today but that very well like yesterday. I woke up at around 7am and just feel bloated. I took tea and milk and headed for work at the hospital. Its a struggle for me daily because recently , maybe 3 months now i have easy fatigability and my hemoglobin dropped to 8md/dl . I cant complain because i have to work . I also love being at work because i forget i have a disease and i am having self worth. I am recently thinking about dying and what will happen to my body and spirit. i am afraid to be forgotten. i am thinking of things i need to do NOW before im in my death bed. i wan t to experience things .I want to travel. i want to see the snow , i want to go to africa and london . i want to breath easily. i want to walk 100 steps without being out of breath , i want to see the sunset these are simple things but i think its very difficult to achieved. God thank u so much fo r all the blessing today. JADE
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February 10, 2009
happy, sad
im happy because im still granted to be here on this day to continue my life. im happy because i am not in pain but still nauseated because of the cytoxan that i received two days back. Im happy because i believed that there is still life for me after all because im socializing at times and was able to im part some of my little knowledge regarding infection control.
Im sad a little bit because as a sufferer of chronic disease like mine, i felt i have a bleak future. Always not sure of what my life will be ahead. But i am always praying to God that He will help me make through to this kind of life i have. I even don't plan for the future. I just lived each day as it is.
For the world be the world. I will laugh or smile but i will also experience mood swings.
Thanks ,ewan ko .jade
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February 08, 2009
Post birthday depression
Today i am a little bit tired because i slept late yesterday. I have watched my favorite show THE BUZZ. I woke up at around 6:30 am .
I tried to keep my beat up and start my day with a happy face. But i think failed today. I felt low and nauseated. Im thankful to GOd that he gave me another day to live .This is for this day . bye