Cheryl's Journal
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August 19, 2009
A living TESTIMONY
I may sound crazy when I say this next statement:
LUPUS IS MY BLESSING!
Why do you ask? Because I stand strong in faith that God is going to do great things for me. I have been dragged through hell with this disease. From doctors telling me that they hope I wake up tomorrow, shaking their heads in disbelief when I beat the odds. Going through a time in my life where my fiancee refused to marry me because his mother told him that she did not want him responsible to have to bury me if i die. Not being able to walk to one side of the room without dripping in sweat, cant hardly breathe, and feeling like im so alone. Reactions to medications on top of an illness.....hallucinations from prednisone was only the start and my hair falling out my the hand full!
But what if I told you my health has done a complete 180 with no extra medications??
My kidneys has stopped leaking high proteins.
They can not find any medications in my retina anymore.
The inflammation and fluid around my heart....GONE!
The small cyst in my throat can not be found.
My thyroid give me no problems.
My joint pain is minimal.
My lupus rash is barely noticeable.
And my blood work is stable.
The first thing I had to heal was my mind. If you think sick you are sick! I started reading books focused on healing, lupus, and God. I stopped believing what the doctors said. I refuse to except the negativity. I felt that if I was not getting the results I wanted then I needed to go to another professional.
Church has been my major faith booster. It has changed my whole outlook on life. I even joined the DANCE MINISTRY! I told you guys lupus wont stop me. I am determined to get my life back. If I only have one life to live then I want it ALL. A husband, more children, grand children and I will even see my great grands! (Im not dying until in 80 by the way!)
But most off all....if I can do it....then so can YOU because all things are possible to those who believe! I BELIEVE!
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June 17, 2009
I did not show up to chemo!!!!
Yes! I did it. I DID NOT show up! Whhyyyy do you ask? Because I am fed up with my rummie! No explanation. No phone call. I'm even switching doctors and did not even tell him. Every time I leave his office I feel beat down and destroyed. I feel like there is no hope! I always get the "I hope you don't die from this speech or I hope it gets better" and I am tired of being mentally beat down from this dude. I have had lupus for three years and I am on the same stuff as when I first got diagnosed. I even bad reactions to the meds and he wont do anything about it.....so SO LONG! FARE WELL! I will never see you again!
He is trying to keep me on chemo for another year.... but new rummie says no way! : ) At this point I'm just going to let go and let GOD! I trust HIM.
YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME.....because the BEST of me is YET to come.......